Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Gift #482

Popular wisdom tells us that healthy self-esteem is a prerequisite for a healthy relationship - that without sufficient self-love, we're not capable of truly loving others.

It's not just that people lacking in self-love view their relationships more negatively - they may also enter more negative relationships in the first place, selecting and staying with partners who don't treat them well.

Does this mean that high self-esteem is better for relationships? Not necessarily. At the higher extreme, self-esteem can move toward narcissism, which involves self-centeredness and inflated self-views which may be one reason why celebrity couples relationship rarely seem to last.

Self-love, then, may not be as essential to relationships as we sometimes make it out to be. What seems to be more healty is self-acceptance - that is, viewing yourself as a basically good person who is worthy of love, without needing to prove yourself or outshine others. A self-accepting person is less likely to burden a partner with either excessive reassurance - seeking or excessive criticism.

Twinkle Thakkar ✨
Happiness and Health Coach

No comments:

Post a Comment